Nights like this

 

It's currently two o'clock at night. Or, some would say, in the morning. Sensible people are sound asleep by now. Not me - I'm engrossed in schoolwork. Not because I have to, I could just leave it until the morning. Only that's not a very good idea: Try to get me to concentrate on my writing at eleven o'clock in the morning, or at three o'clock in the afternoon - it will not happen. Trust me, I've tried. But as midnight approaches, I find myself becoming more and more focused by the minute - all of a sudden, I'm blind to things that normally provide huge distractions (cleaning, arts and crafts, a new episode of Pan Am...) and will write for hours if you let me. That's what's going on right now.

Make no mistake: This is not me "buckling down" or reluctantly sacrificing hours of sleep  - this is just me getting happily wrapped up in the task at hand (which tonight is pretty mechanical, as it has to do with translating), taking advantage of these wonderful midnight hours of distraction-free work. I'm quite content to be working for another half hour or so. This, to me, is part of the beauty of being a student: I can allow myself these kinds of nights when I feel like it, since I'm quite often free to sleep in the next day. I won't have to be at uni until one o'clock tomorrow. It's all good.

Snow globe

Sometimes I feel like I'm a little too detached, a little too cut off from the "real world". I hardly ever even read the papers anymore - I'm too busy being a nerd within my field of research, doing arts and crafts and just existing in this little bubble I've created for myself. It hits me whenever I travel to the capital doing thesis research, seeing all the grit and gloom of a big city. I realize it when I encounter people living outside my bubble.

But the thing is, I like it that way.

 
I really do feel like I'm living in a snow globe. A safe and secure, fairly idyllic little snow globe containing sweet friends, caring family, beautiful surroundings, whimsical dreams and academical analyses, art and writing and all things inspiring. A place where worries and problems are temporary and managable.

They say the only way to evolve as a person is to get out of your comfort zone. There's some truth in that, but I'm saving it for later - for now, I'm perfectly content within my comfort zone. At some point I'll be thrown out of it anyway, so until that happens I'm staying in it. Staying safe and sound in my snow globe.

They danced down the streets

I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to this film:

 

I have tried reading On The Road a couple of times, but I can't seem to get into it. Which is embarrassing, really, since it's such a cult classic, and I do love Kerouac's style of writing. Yet there's something that just doesn't resonate with me, so I'll lose interest in the story and start skipping pages... Which doesn't really count as reading in my book. Anyway - for some reason, I'm completely convinced that the film is going to be amazing! A road movie in the truest sense of the word, with lovely actors (I have developed somewhat of a girl crush on Kristen Stewart after watching The Runaways and Welcome to the Rileys) and that beautiful, nostalgic feel... How could it not be amazing?

After a week of train travelling and exams (My Italian exam went better than I thought it would, thankfully) I'm itching to do something with my hands again. I'll run out to the shop in a bit to get some more wire for my candle holder making, and I had an idea to pick up some sort of clay while I'm at it - I really want to make a ceramic owl for my desk. On that note, aren't these animal trends kind of random? A couple of years ago, all you could find in the shops were elephant necklaces, and now it's the same with owls... If it were up to me, seals would be next.

 

(And yes, I changed the name of the blog to the name I first had in mind, to better match the url. Thinking about these things is probably a sign that you have too much time on your hands...)

November love

How absurd - the last day of November is here. October felt like it went on and on forever (albeit in a good way), but November just whizzed past. A quick look in my planner tells me I've had quite a few tests and presentations, more lectures than usual and several church related activities along with a couple of visits from friends this month. Over all, it's been a good one, although I haven't got nearly enough things done. (Then again, I feel like I'm always saying that... Not good at all.) Tomorrow, I'll be starting my December off with a bang by taking my final Italian test. Madonna mia... I feel like we need an inspirational, uplifting picture here:

(This one will do.)

November favourites:

Mint chocolate milkshakes. 
I'm getting into a habit of bringing my laptop to my favourite café in order to escape the distractions of my apartment. (So far, it seems to be working.) I usually get there too late in the afternoon to be able to order coffee (as it would keep me up all night if I did), and they happen to serve the most fantastic mint chocolate milkshakes on the planet. Plus drinking it makes me feel very 50's American. I quite like that feeling.

Painted nails. 
Just painted nails in general - nothing makes me feel so instantly polished (no pun intended) and put together as a good manicure, preferably in bright red, ink blue, lavender or burgundy. Right now I'm wearing my vampiest, most Marilyn Monroe-esque red, so that I'll at least have something nice to look at while I'm trying to conjugate irregular Italian verbs tomorrow...

Academia.
Aside from struggling with my language classes, I've been quite into the rest of my studies and the whole university thing this month. I've recieved surprising support regarding my work, I've done some research of my own, I've picked up a couple of lovely thesis related books, and I'm just generally feeling good about that part of my life right now.

Christmas card making
Er, yeah. Some people go out dancing on friday nights, I make christmas cards. Several november evenings have been spent with a friend who's just as much into arts and crafts as I am, covering my floor with paper, glitter, old magazines, sequins and everything you could possibly need to make christmas cards. I do feel slightly ridiculous looking at the giant pile of cards stacked on my desk, but we did have heaps of fun making them.

Not that exciting, huh? I'd love for a month to come when my favourites are things like "going for spontaneous roadtrips with the windows down", "skinny dipping at midnight with new friends", "getting a poem published in a super pretentious anthology about the power of nothingness" etc... But, alas - it's too cold for skinny dipping, I don't have a car, and my poems really aren't that good. (They are very pretentious though. Brownie points?)

The last red berries

  November comes
And November goes,
With the last red berries
And the first white snows

...and we're somewhere in the middle of those two stages right now. Winter is very late this year. My university town is looking very Tim Burton-esque: The river running trough the town reflects the starry evening sky, and all the naked old maples provide quite a haunting sight - it's very Sleepy Hollow, very Corpse Bride. Beautiful.

Even I, the most easily spooked person I know, cannot bring myself to be afraid of the dark in this town - it manages to look charming even on the darkest of November evenings. And they are getting dark alright - darkness falls at four in the afternoon now, and soon we'll be down to just a couple of hours of daylight every day. (I told you I live high up north...)

I do find it quite cosy. It's a great excuse to indulge in some way-too-early christmas decoration-crafting (I'm very much into making beaded metal-wire hearts and fabric flowers right now) while watching cozy movie of choice. Personally, I've never really fallen for Love, Actually, so I'm going with one of my favourite guilty pleasures: Dirty dancing 2. Yes, the "Havana Nights" one. It actually features a christmas celebration, so I think it's justified... But really, it's just such a sweet movie. And so visually beautiful.

We just wanna make the world dance

I got up unusually early today (I normally have fridays off and sleep in) for a meeting with my professor, but he cancelled - which means I now have a whole long lovely friday all to myself! Considering that I've been out of town for four weekends in a row it will be so, so nice to not go anywhere this weekend.

My Big Friday Plans:
-have an early lunch
-bring text books to café, study
-write overly pretentious poetry while people-watching in said café
-draw something colourful while watching inspiring movie of choice
-make birthday card for dear brother
-sing along to Price Tag, Pack Up and other happy tunes

(I really, really liked the original 90210. I kind of still do.)

This week has been slightly packed - since I got back on monday, I've been working non-stop with thesis stuff and an art presentation. My Italian and French classes also take up way too much time, but they're fun in equal measure, so it's been worth it. The problem is, I never seem to have the time to just sit down and read for fun, or even read thesis-related texts, as I'm so busy producing text myself or learning grammar. This is probably why I find myself getting all excited at the prospect of emerging myself in books on postmodern theory and narrative method... Which is exactly what I'll do today.

Whishing you all a lovely friday!

Oktober love

I had a surprisingly lovely weekend, going back home to attend a celebration with the whole clan. My relatives rarely gather, but when we do, there's singing. A lot of it. And it's kind of awesome.

Anyway, October is over. That month was a whirlwind of doing things and going places, and for most part, I loved every minute. Of course, if I could relive the past 30 days I'd enjoy them even more, because I wouldn't allow myself to worry so much about every task and every trip - but it's still been the best month in quite a while.

 

My October favourites list looks like this:

-Green tea. It's basically the only tea I drink these days. Once I got used to the green kind (that is, once it stopped tasting like hay!) black tea simply started tasting too bitter and sharp for my liking. I do love non-flavoured green tea, but my favourite flavours are vanilla, cranberry and orange blossom.

-cardigans from the men's section. I recently bought a dark green one, and I've been living in it ever since.

-stormy weather. Few things make me as happy as a really windy day! (I feel like I can say this, since where I live, we haven't yet had any storms of the dangerous kind.)

-blue-tinted nail polish. I normally prefer my nails non-sparkly, but recently I mixed together an old silver polish and an ink-coloured one that I had a dupe of, and ended up with a lovely dusty metallic blue. 

-Unexpected coffee-breaks. This one is quite obvious, but there's nothing like running into a friend on campus and deciding to head for a spontaneous coffee to brighten my day.

 

This picture describes my university town perfectly - over the course of a weekend, all the gorgeous leaves disappeared. Just like that. And thank goodness for daylight savings - my mornings were getting unbearably dark. 

Still, I'm embracing November - this month with its foggy dawns and early twilights brings a very specific kind of calm and tranquility, and I intend to fill my days with lots of studying, arts and crafts and painting. October was hectic but wonderful, and here's to an even better November for all of us!

Things my teachers say

All of a sudden it feels like we're expected to choose the direction of our whole life. All of a sudden there are not as many options as we thought, and that feeling is absolutely paralyzing.

Whenever that happens, I try to remember something my professor once told me:

You really need to stop thinking that you need to know what you want to do with your life. Because really, you don't.

He's probably right. After all, not all decisions we make are lifelong and crucial. Those are very comforting words to hear from a respected adult in academia, and possibly the best advice I've ever been given.

Another teacher of mine, one with whom I've shared hours of exciting academical banter, once said with a sigh: "Kids these days - you think life is so short. It's not!" This exclamation was prompted by my rant about wanting to read too many subjects and not having the time to do it. These men are both in their forties, and looking at their careers, it's clear that they practice what they preach.

At some point next year, I will be graduating, whether I'm ready for it or not. (Probably not.) I love my studies, but I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. The plan, for now, is to work on my thesis and enjoy the process. And then I guess I'll just have to take it from there.

Gracious.

Happy Monday! Today, I have two curve-related musings that I want to share with you. Yes, curve-related as in related to female curves.

Curve-related musing no.1: I just finished reading The Lessons. (Lovely piece of campus fiction by the way, wonderful prose and interesting characters.) In that book, I found this description:

His girlfriend was lusciously plump and beautiful, poured into her dress to the point of appetizing overflow.

Isn't that just beautiful? Who wouldn't love to be described in that way? Probably the nicest description of the female form I've ever come across.

Curve-related musing no.2: No matter how much I like curves (my own as well as curves in general) I do feel like mine rob me of a little something - namely the option of going braless in public. After class today, I chatted a bit with the girl I'd been sitting next to. In the middle of a sentence I noticed that she was very blatantly braless. My reaction to this was an instant urge to compliment her on it, just like you would when someone has changed their haircut or wears a particularly nice shade of nailpolish: "Oh look, you're totally not wearing a bra today! Cool!"

That wouldn't have been a weird thing to say at all, would it?

I guess that's how I see the whole going-braless-thingy: like something nicely bohemian that I would definitely go for myself from time to time - if only it wouldn't cause as much, well, bouncing and discomfort as it does. To me, it's mainly just a way to slightly change up your look, and I will never fully understand those (I've talked to several) who will tell you how offended/disgusted they are by it.

(Just in case you were wondering, I obviously didn't say anything. Because, at the end of the day, boobs are boobs. And as we all know, thou shalt not comment on thy neighbour's boobs. Because chances are, thy neighbour might think thou art slightly odd. Even though thou only ment it as a compliment.)

September love

I would quote one of my favourite Bon Jovi songs, it's pretty cold for late September... But that would be blatantly lying. We had 22 degrees celcius in my town today! For us, that's about as normal as a snowstorm in July. I've been sitting in my favourite park next to the art museum all afternoon, reading and taking photos. Lovely.

So, September is wrapping up. For years now, I've been making these lists in my diary, here's this month's:


Favourites of the month 

-old-school aerobics classes (my gym is very retro and kind of dodgy, and I love it!)
-jojoba oil (Has done wonders for my skin this month)
-my new blue teapot (Need I say more?)
-Jean Paul Gaultier: Classique (My favourite perfume of all time)
-dark red nailpolish (Suitably vampire-y and autumn-y)
-homemade facials with tea leaves and honey (Better than any store-bought face masks)
-wire craft (You know, making candle holders and bowls out of wire? I love it)
-my new fringe (Best. Decision. Ever.)

I've been reading a lot more books than usual this month. Favourites have been One day (I'm really looking forward to the movie), The Lessons och La dame aux camelias. I've also been buying cheap but ornate picture frames and made random collages to put in them. 

(I do admit that both the reading and the collage-making have diverted my attention from my thesis work more than they should... I'll do better in October, I swear!)


 My favourite discovery this month has to be the Yale lecture series that I randomly found on Youtube. Yes, apparently Yale University posts a handful of their lectures online. You probably have to be slightly nerdy to appreciate this, but I was over the moon! So these last weeks, in the evenings, while cooking or drawing, I've been attending Yale lectures on gender studies and American literature... Kind of amazing.


All in all, September has been a fairly good month, even though it started out stressful and chaotic. To me, October is usually less stressful and more cheerful - it is my birthday month, after all! I'm planning to spend this weekend making carrot cake, celebrating with various friends, visiting the art museum and hopefully get some studying done as well.

Much love!